Improving others by improving yourself

"You cannot help someone build a house when your foundation has not set". ~Me

Conceited, cocky, selfish, etc. etc. These are the words that you will most likely hear when you seem to put yourself first before everyone else. However, why is there such a negative stigma with this? My guess is, the people who are usually saying those words are typically saying them because you are refusing to do something for them. In a sense, wouldn't that make them "Conceited, cocky and selfish"?

While growing up, I was taught in my household that we need to look out for others as we look out for ourselves. We were taught to try to see the good in people and always give others the benefit of the doubt. While these were admirable lessons learned, I have received a healthy dose of reality checks as I have grown up. I have learned that "Everyone does what they want to do as long as it benefits them in some type of way".

Living in servitude to others is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, a volunteer experience can be very fulfilling as it does provide a feeling of accomplishment as well as giving back to the community. However, in this day and age, it seems like the more you give to others, the more others are willing to take. One mistake I have noticed that people constantly trying to improve others by doing things for other people and neglecting themselves.

The problem with this that I have identified is that this typically results in one going without while making sure that others have. For example, how can you pay for someone else's gas but not have enough gas to get yourself to work? It is my experience that the best way to improve others is to work on improving yourself.

On my journey to improve my finances, I have implemented many changes in my lifestyle. While implementing these new changes, I have been able to spark curiosity from the people around me to ask about how I have been able to accomplish these changes. I am able to share with others my experiences and make recommendations for them based on things that have worked for me.

In addition to that, I find that whenever I have sacrificed myself on behalf of others, the end result always consisted of no change. I believe people are a lot more receptive to recommendations when they are ready to change rather than when you are ready for them to change. By allowing people to observe the positive change in your life, it may inspire them to do adopt some of those same changes.

For some recommendations on how you can improve yourself, check out my articles about Investing in your health, Investing in your knowledge, Investing in your Experience and Investing in your Future.

I believe that improving others only occurs through self-improvement, please leave your thoughts about this in the comments below.

Stay Disciplined!

Finding the balance in your life

I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time. ~Oprah Winfrey

What generally happens when you eat too much salt? (high blood pressure) What generally happens when you eat too much? (obesity) What typically happens when you sleep too much? (nothing gets done). Although each are necessary, they all have to be done in moderation. A wise man once said that "too much of anything is a bad thing".

I believe one of the biggest reasons why we fail when taking on a new endeavor in life is that we try to take too much of it too fast. I know personally, I tend to get tunnel vision and disregard everything else going on in my life to concentrate on that task. During this time period I usually allow other important things (friends, family, other obligations) fall to the wayside while I am concentrating on my task at hand. This results in not having as strong ties to the people who mean the most to me and well as me not fulfilling previous obligations.

I am not trying to say that you should not devote time and focus on whatever task that you wish to accomplish, however, I do believe it is important that it is not the only thing that you spend your time/resources on. Focusing that much attention on one task does not eliminate the other responsibilities that were going on prior to acquiring the new task.

Personally, the lack of balance in my life is due to the fact that I have been devoting an abnormal amount of time to preparing for my future. I have been very focused on saving for retirement and making investments that I rarely spend money on things that I "want". I have been told over and over by many people that I need to concentrate on living my life today.

To contrast, I have seen the exact opposite. Those who buy whatever they want when they want it and amassing large amounts of debt in the process. My fear is that I have come across some people who I feel like have not dedicated enough resources to their future and I will end up owing large amounts of money to institutions forcing me to have to work indefinitely.

What it comes down to is that there needs to be a balance. Whether it be a new girlfriend/boyfriend, a new project at work, a new video or even trying to reach a financial goal, we must learn that we cannot let a single task monopolize our time. This results in us burning out with the particular task and usually results in the task not getting completed with our best effort. To prevent this from happening and to ensure balance, I recommend to do the following things below:

1. Always make "Me" time.
• There are many things that people to do to escape from regular life. Some people travel, some people sing, some people Facebook but whatever you can do to relax, you should do at least once a week.
• Relaxing is necessary but too much relaxing can mis-align your balance.
2. Use "Context Switching" to multi-task.
• Context Switching is defined as "the computing process of storing and restoring the state (context) of a CPU such that multiple processes can share a single CPU resource." (Wikipedia Link)
• Translation: A person (single CPU) executing one task (process) at a time for a dedicated amount of time (based on priority) then switching to a new task to execute that task.
• Prioritizing your tasks properly can contribute to finding the correct balance.
3. Organize your time wisely.
• Having a simple written plan of what you have to do and the steps it will take to accomplish it will help you organize and prioritize the tasks that need to be accomplished.
4. Accept that you cannot do EVERYTHING.
• You have to pick and choose your battles and some battles are not worth fighting.
• You have power to tell people "no" and it is one of the most powerful tools that you have when dealing with balance.
• It is important to make sure that you do not over-extend yourself because this will not allow for balance to occur when you are spending the majority of your time on a task.
5. Do not be afraid to ask for help (Contract help if you need it).
• A lot of people are overwhelmed due to the fact that they do not know what they are doing. Many things that seem complicated can be understood to be very easy after learning from someone who has already completed it.
• No one in this world was put on here to exist alone, it is easier to have a much more enjoyable life with the help of others to help relieve some of the tasks.

What are some of the other ways you maintain balance in your life? Leave your suggestions in the comments below.

Stay Disciplined!